Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
