I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
