GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
