You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
