We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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