Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
