hotel room ftw
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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