i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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