I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
