i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
