I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
