My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
