well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
