How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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