I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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