he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
