new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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