ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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