What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
