never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
