He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
