I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I will be naked everywhere
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Randomize
