Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
