He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
