so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
