took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
