so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
