Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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