"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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