The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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