You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
