I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
There r osticjed everywhere
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
