I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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