that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
