There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
