My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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