i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
