I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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