I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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