I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
