Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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