I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
