Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
