yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
