peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
