I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
