I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
