Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
