This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
