everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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