I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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